The Fastest Way to Get Nothing Done
So my first all-staff meeting has come and gone and I’m still here to tell about it. I’ve never been a big fan of huge staff meetings, meetings where the entire department gathers in one place to hold hands and proclaim the greatness of the institution that owns them. It’s like one long pep rally where the flow of positive talk and cheesy phrases never stops. Put like that, it’s no wonder there isn’t a long line of people clamoring to be signed up.
There really isn’t any point in a room full of 150 people getting up and introducing themselves. It benefits newbies such as myself not at all. I’m not going to remember 149 names and faces, especially not in a shadowed auditorium. Ah well, I will forever be asking my fellow staff members their names and they will need to introduce themselves again anyway. I think it was a wasted hour of introductions. The whole meeting was pretty pointless.
Here follows my favorite and quite true meeting quotes:
“Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.”
“People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.”
And my favorite (albiet a little vulgar) - “Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate.”
I know - highly inappropriate.
I’m taking a crossword puzzle to my next meeting. Oh wait, that’s tomorrow morning.
