Shoelaces for Josie

It’s big business, this Christmas deal is. I ordered a movie for my folks off that new-fangled thing they call the Internet. (If you only knew my parents…they don’t really have much of a concept of what the ‘net really is…) I just found out that it had been delivered today and I was puzzling over why the package hadn’t been delivered when I realized it had probably been stuffed in my mailbox since the package was rather small and my mailbox is rather large.

So, garbed in my teal robe and leopard-print slippers, I marched around the corner to my mailbox. A few cars drove by - I put a whole new meaning into working the corner - not to mention the street lights glinting off my starkly white (but freshly shaven!) legs.

My movie had indeed arrived which was exciting. Actually, to be completely correct, it isn’t my movie. I’m simply…its holding pen for the time being. But the arrival of said movie got my wheels turning in my brain about what I could possibly get for the rest of my family. I need to think small - shipping 1,500 miles is no cheap task. Not to mention me mum has told me to scrap any Christmas-gift-giving.

I would. And I’m tempted. But I’ve been tempted to scratch gifts since I was 12. I love giving things to people, but a) it’s a lot of work, b) I won’t even be there to see them open it, and c) I don’t know what to get which is directly tied into point a. I’m not into the whole “let’s get something just to get something even though it’s completely stupid and worthless” idea. Unless it’s my bro. Last year, he gave me a stuffed monkey with extendable legs and arms striped like a candy cane, and that says it all. That war is totally on.

Maybe the much larger point I should be making is that it’s barely the end of October. Christmas is still two months away. And who is still up, mulling over gift ideas and agonizing over what gag gift is appropriately harsh/funny enough for her brother? Ah, corporate America, you never cease to amaze me.