Shoelaces for Josie

There is a song by Garth Brooks called More Than a Memory. It’s a good song - but it’s sad. Tonight I thought of that song.

Moments in life can be replayed over and over again. Ever noticed that? Sometimes they are moments of amazing happiness - like maybe your wedding day. Or when you found out you were pregnant (when you were trying to achieve such a status at least). Other times they are sad - like funerals, break-ups. And sometimes - a lot of the time - most of the time - they are nostalgic, bittersweet.

Tonight is one of those nights. A movie - a meal - the memories.

More Than a Memory
People say she’s only in my head
Its gonna take time to laugh again
They say I need to get on with my life
But they don’t realize

Is when your dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone.
Driving cross town just to see if she’s home.
Waking a friend in the dead of night, just to hear ‘em say it’s gonna be alright.
When your finding things to do not to fall asleep cuz you know she’ll be there in your dreams.
Thats when she’s
more than a memory

Took a match to everything she ever wrote
Watched her words go up in smoke
Tore all the pictures off the wall
But that aint helping me at all.

Cuz when your talking out loud and nobody’s there
You look like hell and you just don’t care
Drinking more than you’ve ever drank
Sinking down lower than you’ve ever sank
When you find yourself falling down upon your knees, praying to God, begging him PLEASE
That’s when she’s
More than a Memory

She’s more
She’s more

Cuz when your dialing her number just to hang up the phone
Driving cross town just to see if she’s home
waking a friend in the dead of night, just to hear ‘em say it’s gonna be alright
When our finding things to do not to fall asleep cuz you know she’ll be waiting in your dreams
That’s when she’s
More than a Memory

People say she’s only in my head
Its gonna take time to laugh again

Yesterday, I was going to write about my grocery shopping experience. Long story short, I had to grocery shop for the 90-year-old lady (here on out known as Really Old Lady). I can do domestic but I don’t prefer it. I don’t really care to shop for food for myself let alone for Really Old Lady. Suffice it to say that I was that girl. Yes, the one who walked all over the grocery store at least eight times and knew all the grocery store employees by name…because of their name tags and because I had to ask where a bunch of stuff was…

Anyway, that may have been the middle version of the story instead of the short one but it’s out of my system and that is what counts, right?

And today. Today I didn’t have football which was nice. And please don’t look at the scores from the Pac-10. You might see a score that says 53-7 and that pains me. Cuts to the core of me, really. So I fled the city and escaped to a place - a place of the present, so reminiscent of my past and, for one of the first times, a flicker of hope for a future.

I know that is vague. But this is my blog and that’s my right as the bloggist…bloggee…blogger…today was exhausting, living in the past, present and future all at once so give me a l’il credit.