Shoelaces for Josie

Today is Thursday so I know you’ve anxiously been sitting on the edge of your seat to hear the next rendition. And I actually have an entry that might surprise you (or not, depending on how you interpret the title).

Thankfully, Really Old Lady (ROL) isn’t dead. Although I showed up early to clean and the house was locked. After ringing the doorbell, knocking and calling her, I was seriously wondering if she had cashed in her chips. She hadn’t which spelled all kinds of relief for me.

The first thing clueing me into this day being different was the “no groceries needed” at the top of the to-do list. No groceries?  She’s religious about having her goodies each week.

I didn’t pay it too much mind, figuring her daughter had purchased them this week or something.

About halfway through my three hours, somewhere between the toilets and the vacuuming, ROL gestured to the chair and told me she had some really bad news for me.

With much trepidation, I sat - wondering what the bad news might be.

I’m not working for ROL anymore. Basically - I got fired. In a roundabout sort of way. ROL is moving to an assisted living place - she is really old - and won’t need me to clean for her anymore.

I know I’ve been a complete pansy and whined about this or that when it came to ROL, but let’s be honest, she was a great source for Thursday blog entries. Who can forget her impaling me with the education talk or being called Miss Crabtree or whipping out the ghastly tan coin purse?

I’m going to miss the old bird - and my end-of-the-week cash flow.

Ah, Really Old Lady - the end has arrived.

I grew up in a large family. Somewhere in the mumbo-jumbo of this blog, I mentioned I had four sisters and a brother. Consequently, I was never called the correct name growing up. In fact, whenever I make the pilgrimage back to me ole haunts, I’m still not called by my given name. It’s ok. It doesn’t bother me. In fact, I’ll answer to most anything - even Miss Crabtree, apparently.

Elaboration - today I cleaned for Really Old Lady (ROL). Once again, Safeway was graced with my presence, shopping list and “vintage” coin purse in tow. After racing quickly through the list - and by quickly I mean at the speed of grass growing in the desert - I checked out. I always use ROL’s club card. It’s her money. She should get a discount if it’s there.

Today was no different, however, after I batted my eyelashes at the cute sacker-man at the end of the counter (what is the correct terminology for them, anyway? bagger? sacker? probably not sacker-man now that I think of it. Probably a more PC term would be sacker-attendant.) and held my hand for my change, the cashier politely handed me the bills and said, “Thank you Miss Crabtree (aka ROL), have a nice day.”

You’ll be proud of me. I didn’t miss a beat. I looked her dead-on and thanked her and bid her a good day as well.

I laughed the entire way out of the store. People looked at me funny. Apparently walking through Safeway with a goofy grin and erupting chuckles is not deemed acceptable. What do I know? This is Name-Game Thursday and Miss Crabtree is in the hizzouse.

Today - today I realized something. You know, we go through life trying to make people like us.  At least most people are like that.  Okay, maybe it’s just me but I’m going to be brave and trot out on that limb and say it’s a lot of people. It’s just how we are as humans. Ever walked into a group of people who strongly dislike you? It ain’t pretty, Sally.

I had to clean for Really Old Lady today. For some reason, she likes me. She thinks I’m just the greatest thing since sliced cheese. I’m so great, that she has begun to schedule her chiropractor appointments, her doctor appointments and her dental appointments to coincide with the days I come to clean. Instead of chilling out and moving the dust in her condo from one place to another, I’m busy giving ROL a lift all over town.

I do all of her grocery shopping. (I’m struggling to refrain from this subject. Let’s just say that she is very specific about what she wants. Good, right? Except for the items I have never heard of. Oh wait, that’s just about 3/4 of them.)

I take all of her packages to the post office.

I go to the hardware store and pick up the D battery she told me she needed and when I get back, she tells me that I got the wrong one. Turns out she needed a 9 volt battery and she just got confused. Oh, and the battery was for her daughter - it was of utmost importance. If it’s so important, why isn’t the daughter fetching it? Last time I checked, the daughter was perfectly capable.

And that’s when I had this realization. If ROL didn’t like me, if she thought I was a real jerk, she wouldn’t be scheduling her appointments for the afternoons I cleaned for her. She wouldn’t be having me fetch her daughter’s batteries. You know - a lot of the odd, twisted situations that have really put me in a bind in the past have been because the person liked me and thought I was super great. All of it would have been avoided had people hated me.

You think you want people to like you. But the positives of having people hate you are just so strong!